info from her novel Copyright
When Growing up in England disliked school and it didn't help being bullied and to survive would shutdown and go into herself to protect her frightened little soul. Kids know who to go after the shy, vulnerable, frighten ones who don't want to make trouble. She was a sweet young lady and now a teenager and in high school, you would call it here in Canada. She never wanted to hurt anyone and daydreamed how she wanted her world to be and had an incredible immigration. This particular teacher would point at her to stand up in class knowing she had problems and couldn't read. Her whole body would be shaking she was terrified and the kids in the class would laugh, snicker and this teacher seemed to get off frightening her. All the horrible names they would call her, she felt so alone and wanted a magician to wave his magic wand and puff she was gone, disappear into the atmosphere never to be seen again. She was dyslexic but who knew back then of these disorders and such a sensitive young girl. When the big bully who would hit and torment her, she would try her best to ignore her. She was taught by her mom to be good and kind and think of the other persons feelings. The worst when coming home from school the girls and even the boys in her class would follow her making up rims, shouting laughing, it was overwhelming to a child’s self esteem. She was extremely skinny and walked with my head down. Everyday, everyday this constant bullying what does that do? Makes a child feel worthless and very scared, she had a uncles who terrified her and when five years old her cousin molesting her. The good news things were about to change.
At the age of fourteen when her hormones were kicking in this happened. After PE which she hated with a passion she was hopeless at sports and in gym no co ordination. In the change room she couldn’t stand another day this girl calling her names, putting her down, pushing, punching her back, and pulling her hair. She wasn't able to verbalize her feelings very well, but she had this surge of energy and wanting to shut her down. She wasn’t going to ignore her anymore or run away from her feelings. All her anger came to the surface, it was like a pressure cooker ready to erupt. "Leave Me Alone" she yelled, and wasn't going to take her taunting and hitting her any longer. She went running at her shouting " I'm Going To Fight You, You Bully". She went for the fight instead of the flight. She was not going to have this bully touch her or be mean to her ever again. Kicking and pulling her hair and this girl, a lot bigger than her, the bully flings her around like a wet piece of lettuce and hitting her leg on the door.
Fighting For her Dignity
There she’s laying on the floor and screaming at her and went for her again, she was like a pit-bull, she wasn't going to let go, all her feelings exploding. The adrenaline rushing through her veins, as she stood her ground, she felt liberated as the bully went running away. All the girls in her class so surprised and in shock, they couldn’t believe what had happened. This thin, timid, shy young girl who wouldn't say boo to a goose and walked with her head down and so in herself. There she was standing up to this bully, she was fighting for her dignity. You see when you stand your ground and show these bullies you are not afraid because you are worthy and a good person. What happens? Good rules over bad and evil? She could feel the atmosphere and aura changing, she started to get more respect and that girl never came near her again. It was a release for her and after that instant she never walked with her head down, ever again. This other girl in her class they started hanging out together and became friends. An experience never bow down to a bully because they will never stop, that's something she never forgot and a great lesson learned that she took with her through out her life. Having a mother like hers that helped, she wanted her daughter to successes and not be a shrinking violet.
Now if any of the girls tried to say snarky remarks, she would say that's your opinion with a smile and not to go down to their level as she walked away with her head held high like her mother had taught her. She also taught her daughter to validate herself and always remember you don't have to be like them and go down to their level. She had also explained to her when she came running home from school crying being called names and because of this bully. Her mom would say; she wasn’t a bad person sweetheart, this young girl just didn’t feel good about herself, and she was taking all her frustrations out on her. Which makes sense now because if you have true love in your heart and feel good about yourself there is no way you would want to hurt another human being or an animal. Because love can do amazing things!!
Internet- Twitter Has Nothing to go with you
Thank goodness they never had the internet in her day and when someone lashes out like you see on Twitter and these other platforms. Really all they are doing is spewing their hate. It's their feelings they have about their experiences and themselves, it has nothing to do with you. They have no idea of who you really are, it’s their toxic emotions and opinions. It's truly all about them, doesn't that make sense? Where does the hate come from? It's their own observation in life not yours. They want control because most likely they don’t and didn’t have it in their own private life, there are other reasons as well. Not being taught compassion and empathy because they have no idea what it feels like to be a kind soul and think of the other persons feelings. She was blessed having a mother like hers teaching her many lessons that's how she was brought up and with good manners. If you don't accept the hate where does it go? Back to them because you know you are not that person.
It's hard to realize that when you’re young if you have been bullied and put down. If you don't feel good about yourself, and having low self-esteem going deep into your core, your spirit within. For her she couldn't read with her dyslexia and learning difficulties made her feel extremely like an alien from another planet and how knows she could be. You will either react by taking and absorbing all that hate, or by lashing out. That’s how she reacted when she couldn't take it any longer and thank goodness they didn’t have social media like today, she was too sensitive for all of that. This is so true sometimes things that hurt you the most, teach you the greatest lessons in life. It’s up to the person how you deal with the negative in themselves and their environment. The only person that can change are ourselves. Wisdom happens as we get older; we do become wiser if you learn from our mistakes and try to have higher standards and become a better person. Amen 🙏🏽