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 A Mask of Disguises: Her Wigs, Hair Piece, False Eyelashes and Makeup, When in the Middle 60s and part of the 70s in London England . She Became a Chameleon So She Could Fit In and She Didn't Realize that's What She was Doing and Became Very Good By Putting on a Front Becoming Someone Else.

PUBLISHED FEB 15 2012
Part of her novel
back up again

Discovering More About
Her Syndrome

Since publishing her videos she's discovered a lot more about her syndrome and her life, writing and researching and it's not always been easy because of her learning difficulties. She never gave up that was her British upbringing, you just get on with it. The positive in all that she's discovered she knows herself better and decided to call her syndrome Aura.  It suited her creative abilities and outgoing personality which can be extremely exhausting sometimes, putting on a front. She has learned she can't do the things she was able to do and you get to a stage in your life you don’t want to and have to slow down.  When finding out she had Asperger's and was properly diagnosed in her 60s. Back in the late 90s she was insulted when her husband said she had high functioning autism. She was very indignant "I do not" she said, the only person back then who was known was Temple Grandin and she was nothing like this amazing woman she had seen on 60 minutes. She loved makeup fashion, looking glamorous and she had done pretty well, owning two successful businesses in the 80s. She didn't realize she was masking, covering up her anxieties and insecurities to try and fit in and a lot of this was to do with her childhood, bullying and things that happened to her which were out of her control. That's why she used to drink socially to make her feel more comfortable. At work it was different she was focusing on things she was interested in and had learned coping skills. The first thing she taught herself looking through the mirror to talk to clients when starting her hairdressing apprenticeship at the department store in Harrow Middelsex  north west of London.

Her mum had done an amazing job, wanting her daughter to feel accepted and feel normal, whatever that is? focused on her looks, etiquette and manners but she was certainly  different at fifteen wearing wigs and a lot of makeup and false eyelashes,  she had aura.  That why she was taken to all those amazing places in the swinging 60s where the rich and famous went. Even though she was a working class girl and walked to the beat of her own drum especially when she was young, completely oblivious how others saw her. She could come across as a snob because of her shyness and being pretty but it was her protection. The fellas who would ask her out were a lot older than her and drove flashy cars and took her to great places. She preferred it that way and they treated her better and more mature but of course you always got bloody jerks and as her mum would say the arrogant sods and she met a few of them. When she blossomed she was never without a date and most of the time wasn’t interested in them it was just to get out of the house. She was fine going to clubs by herself at the age of sixteen on the other side of London she was never one to have girls to go with and a lot of the time they would be mean so why would she want to be with them? Till she met this beautiful soul Linda when working at the Regent Palace hotel In the big city of London, she was like a sister she always wanted. 

The photo Brian Aris took for
the Daily Mirror Newspaper.
He seemed to like her looks and
took many other pictures of her

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The Sex Symbol She Liked To Copy 

In the middle sixties seeing this beautiful sex symbol on telly she wanted to look like her. She did have the big doe brown eyes and pouty lips, so this is who she was going to be for a while and it suited her well. She had other characters she copied because her sister in law told her she remembers an incident a fella had come to take her out and she said her demeanor changed just like that and started talking posh. She was good at mimicking others and their voices watching the television and going to the flicks. I suppose that's how she survived living in this unfamiliar world of hers.

Photo Taken Before her Twentieth Birthday

The first time Brian took her photo after seeing her with her mother in London and asked if he could take her picture for the Daily Mirror Newspaper. He came to see her where she was working at the Regent Palace in her lunch hour. Here's the test shot a photo, a park near by Soho to see how she came across in front of the camera. She remembers she wore a red crocheted jumper and black trousers that day. He liked what he saw and she became the page 3 girl April 28th 1970 she had just turned 20. Still till wearing her wigs, lots of makeup and of course her false eyelashes, her mask of disguises. Knowing Brian before he became famous and he took many photos of her, in 1971 got her photo shout in a well known magazine but had to turn it down.

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Videos Autistic Girls Masking 

Found these videos, Autistic girl talking about masking, a great example.  She had no idea this is what she was doing to survive because there was no information like hers out there on autism. Most videos on Asperger's where about males they never talk about females back then liking makeup when she had put her video out in 2011. 

These girls being into the arts: There are all shorts of us out there. who like makeup, and being glamorous or having their own style of fashion. They're more on the creative side like her having Aura. She thinks they would feel more comfortable with that name and would relate to this syndrome better.  As she has said becoming a chameleon to fit it not realizing she stood out being different. That's what is so wonderful being an individuals as long as you are not hearting anyone being your truth authentic self.......

Aspie World with Dan who has Asperger's 
A Great Fella From SCOTLAND

Dan got in touch with her when she first publishing her videos on
YouTube. Unfortunately a little while later she took her website and
videos down because of what had happened was overwhelming.
The stress the pain she was feeling emotionally, physically,
psychologically.  She lost trust and she shutdown as she has
said before you push through like she always has.
You brush yourself off and start all over again.

There she is Masking 
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On the Hill with the press corps always dressed up, well put together, very fashionable. Her black pillow box hat a feather on the top with a fine veil across her face. Her gray pinstriped suit with shoulder pads, black chiffon blouse with a ruffle at the front, four inch black heels and nylons.  Everyone is in a line and Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau walked by, he turned around and smiled at her and she smiled back. this was in the 80s.
When someone asks you what do you do? You are more than your job you have a soul a mulit-dimensional creature. For her she always wonder why she was sent here. Then the dream she had 2008 and asking her mother will she be with her one day? Taking her on this long journey the twists and turns learning, learning never stopping. What's so wonderful she started drawing Star🌟Seeds Angel Goddesses then Emperors had no idea where that came from.  Of cause she was being guided by her mum. She's a Star🌟Seed she had to be and was different than any mother she knew. She led her to Cynthia this beautiful soul who made Star🌟 Seed sculptors. She felt sad finding out Cynthia had left this planet. She knew she didn't have that much time here and connected to another hemisphere her Star🌟Seed family. Fascinating where she was being taken she could never have done this by herself. It is hard living here when you are not like others and know things others don't know....

STAR🌟SEED

 Good Mental Health for Autistic Girls 
Tony Attwood Extremely  Entertaining 

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Every Autistic Person has to find what works for them to be able to function, no one is living their life. There's help out there not like in her day but she did very well, as she matured, under the circumstances if you don't know any better you just get on with it.  She was properly diagnosed in her late 60s,  even though she knew she had this syndrome years before.  Between 2010 and 2019 she was going through some very bad experiences in her life physically, emotionally and mentally. Then the medication she was put on for her migraines caused her a very bad reaction. Went to see her doctor and was diagnosed with the wrong disorder. Her doctor was kind enough to able to send her to the right professional person who worked with autism and was properly diagnosed, which she calls her syndrome Aura. She had stopped the medication right away when she got this terrible reaction, she wasn't herself crying, wanted to leave this world, having suicidal thoughts. For her this had happened before a long time ago when she was put on an anxiety drug,  very bad not good for her.

Being so sensitive to her environment she doesn't do well on certain  medications like antidepressants. Everyone is different, you have to find what works for you, it's extremely important.  Thank goodness she  was able to find the right  medication that works for her migraines and it made a big difference in her life. Anyone who suffers with them knows how debilitating they can be in fact with any pain they may be going through. She did find the natural approach to help herself, in many ways, it doesn't mean she doesn't get stressed and overwhelmed sometimes. It's usually because she feels she doesn't have control over a situation, not getting the support she needs and cannot stand lying that triggers and upsets her tremendously. The reason why? She likes honesty and finding like minded people on the same wavelength that helps. She has her good and not so good days.

 

 

What's  comforting for her is writing her feelings out, having a wonderful imagination she can escape into her own Cosmic Surreal Existence.  As she did as a young girl when feeling ostracized, bullied, taking things literally and not understanding her peers. Knowing she didn't fit in, so sensitive, a delicate being and only wanting love and kindness. This atmosphere around her feeling all the vibes closing in and being misunderstood.  An  energy, a wave of negativity of course one day she fought back for her dignity.   

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