She's a free thinker also was a stubborn child and got into trouble many a time with her father. As a little girl going out with her parents she would skip merrily off in another direction because that's what she wanted to do. When her daddy called her and not listening, or hearing him because she was daydreaming like most of the time. She was in her own reality world, a happy little camper looking around at the scenery taking it all in. It was fascinating and she wasn't doing anything wrong and got slapped many a time by her father. It didn't make any difference and as usual not doing as she was told and would do it again. Sometimes she was lucky running away as fast as her little legs would carry her; so her father wasn't able to catch her and her mother would save her, she never hit her. She was patient, caring and understanding and loved her daughter with all her heart, she was her little sweetheart. Like this time when her mother was pregnant with her second child and ready to give birth. Off they went to Manchester and going on a train at Euston station where her daddy worked as a porter, that's where her mommy met her husband to be. That was fun going to staying with her grandparents and taking her two black dollies Caroline and Jillian and her black rag doll who she called Golly; he was her first black little friend and he went everywhere with her Teddy and her Pollo-mints grasped in her other hand. 

 

On the way there her mum popped into see her auntie, her mother's sister before going to her parents where her daughter would be staying for a quite a while. This was great her mother's auntie lived in a house with stairs Wow!!!! Where they lived in the rest center in a one room and had a fireplace, if they were lucky to afford coal and it was available her father would light the fire to keep them warm. They didn't have stairs in their room but a stairwell in the hallway taking you down to the kitchen facilities where the women would cook for their families. Being told she couldn't go up the stairs, her little imagination wanted to know what was up there? This played on her mind and why couldn't she and  asking her mummy? Her mother explain but it still didn't make sense to this inquisitive little girl who had AURA. She started playing with her black dollies at the bottom of the stairs and singing to them and what a lot of fun she was having. When her mother wasn't paying attention she would go up a couple more till she was near the top. Then her mum would say sweetheart come on down there is nothing for you to see, there's only a toilet and two bedrooms, this fascinated her even more. She thought to herself how can she get to top and visit the toilet? She was mesmerized by water and figured it out. “Mummy I want to go to the toilet please“ she was brought up with impeccable manners always say please and thank you it was drummed into her.

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Her mum took her to the bathroom and holding her little hand in hers and how delighted she was going to the WC and talking a mile a minute. She climbed up on the toilet seat and walking around balancing herself and pulling the chain and did it again and again. This was intriguing seeing the water flushing and disappearing then the water coming back. Her mother instead of shouting at her because she wasn't listening, and making it into a game; saying "sweetheart you said you want to go to the toilet jump into mummy's arms and I will catch you" and that's what she did. Her mummy caught her, swung her around till her feet touched the ground and then she went for a pee; no tantrum, she was happy and so was her mummy. She was so blessed she had a mother like hers but unfortunately as time went by things changed when her brother was born. Her mum didn't have the same time for little girl anymore. Then she went to nursery school and was told she wasn't like the other children, most likely not paying attention and acting up, it was hard for her to conform. She felt lost now her baby brother was here and her father rejecting her and promising things that didn't materialize, that was confusing and who does she trust?

 

Things happening and not remembering what actually occurred when she was sent to June’s place, she would pick her up after nursery school and take her to her home where her father and brother were. Her mother started seeing changes in her daughter and she stopped her going there. After that she was never the same little girl, she went in herself, no singing or dancing anymore; all these changes were overwhelming she was a lost little soul. Her mother tried her best, took her for Ballet lessons that didn't work, not joining in, being painfully withdrawn and looking spaced out. Her mum had to take her home and she never went again. She was very frightened of her uncle her mom’s twin sister's husband. He wasn't a nice person and he would scare the living daylights out of her and because of his behaviour she was terrified of the dark and have panic attacks. Her mother not knowing this and if she had she would have bloody killed him, metaphorically speaking. She couldn't stand him, there was something about her brother-in-law she was picking up on. He was all show and wasn't genuine; you know those people, wolves in sheep’s clothing, charming, covering up something. He became a freemason and yes he went to boarding school along with his sister. They did run away and were brought back and she has read that some terrible things can happen in those institutions. What happens they can either repeat the abuses or go to drugs and alcohol and some committing suicide. Later her auntie and her husband ran children's homes and she always wondered about her creepy uncle, thinking did he shame, torment and frighten the hell out of those children?

 

 

 

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